Simply Raging - The Beginning

We need a new term to define the coming of age Baby Boomers. “Senior” are our parents and grandparents, but not me or anyone I know. We’re full of life. Maybe we should be called “Lifers” We’re exuberant and full of fun. Maybe “Funsters” should be our new term.

Almost anything would be better than “Seniors”. Every time I hear the term or see a sign denoting a special discount for “seniors” I have an inner battle with myself: “Do I want the two dollars off and face the indignities of admitting to myself and to the world that I’ve turned that proverbial corner from the living to what comes next?”

I remember when I couldn’t wait to be a teenager. In fact, I lied that I was when I wasn’t. Then I was an “adult”. Another term I embraced. It suggested that I no longer could be accused of the “the folly of my youth”. It implied that I was finally “grown-up”, mature and wise. I enjoyed these years, although admittedly they came and went much too fast. I didn’t have enough time to do all the grown-up things I wanted to do.

Now I’m in that segway time in my life. AARP was the first to notice, and as if the world needed to know they herald in the birth of my seniority and the demise of my adulthood with the insensitivity of sending me a welcome letter accompanied by the magazine recognized worldwide as the senior magazine.

I couldn’t fake it and pretend it was meant for me. No, emblazoned on the cover was my name and my address. How utterly humiliating. “I’m no senior!” I screamed inwardly. I’m not on the cusp of the other side of life. Friends consoled me with expressions like, “Don’t you know 50 is the new 20?” It only got worse soon thereafter.

Because, unlike the years of our youth when they moved at a turtle’s pace, the senior years fly by as if on a jet plane to no where. Nowadays there’s never enough time and time has a new dreadful meaning . We fight against time. We pretend time doesn’t matter. Time has become the enemy, and there’s not enough of it to turn things around.

And as if that weren’t enough, there are other changes. Some subtle, but mostly they’re in your face, grotesque changes just to give you a glimpse of what’s in store. Remember the days when you could stay up all night, dance ‘til the moon slid behind the horizon and splash a little water on your face and put in a full day at work? Well, if you’re still in those years, revel in it because not in the too distant future you will lament that “those were the days - and where are they now?”

Join me in finding a new name for those of us over 50. Let's eliminate the term "seniors"; that doesn't apply to us. We're so much more than that. Help me find a new word; a new term and together we'll coin the new expression. So send in your suggestions. Add it to the "Comment" section and let's begin to change how we're viewed.

JOIN IN ADDING YOUR TERM TO OUR LIST OF POSSIBILITIES

The List is growing. So far, no standouts. Folks, I think we need a one word defining of us that immediately illicits all the wondrous qualities and capabilities of us. What do you think?

Come on, we can do better than these can't we??????

Benefactors
The Legacists
Elder boomer,
Graduate Boomer,
Better Boomer,
Surviving Boomer
Oldies but Goddies
ripened,
diamonds,
elders
TRANSFORMERS
Pearls
Seasoned or Seasoneers
Golden Ager
Golden Superior
Diamonds not in the Rough

The Pros and The Cons

A reader wrote to tell me I’ve missed the point; that there are many pleasures to aging. It made me think and as I contemplated her position I came up with a preliminary list of pros and cons.

The Pros:

•   We speak our mind and we don't care what anyone else thinks.

•   We can wave by just raising our arms because we’re lucky enough to have skin that no longer adheres to the muscle or bone.

•  We’re smarter than we were then.

•  We’re less opinionated. Well, at least some of us are.

•  We own everything we need and chances are there’s nothing left we want.

•  We’re younger than our parent’s were at our age.

•  We don’t look like Grandparents nor act like them.
  
•  We have perspective.

•  We have no illusions about love. We know exactly what it is.

•  We no longer need to worry about “skinny jeans”.

•  We know what a record is, what music is supposed to sound like and chances are we still own a record player.

•  We’ve experienced historical events that have changed the world and thusly changed how we view the world.

•  We had actors in our day not personalities.

•  Our first cars were made of steel, gas was 25-cents a gallon and we could buy a slice of pizza and a coke for a buck and a quarter.

•  We know what it is to protest for issues or changes that we feel strongly about.

•  We’re passionate. We feel deeply about many things.

•  We care about the world and preserving it for those who follow.

•  We read.

•  We debate and converse.

•  When we argue an issue it’s not a deal breaker.(Well, for some of us.)

•  We know the value of friends.

•  We really enjoy a good meal and a fine bottle of wine.

•  Grammar, punctuation, articulation and the beauty of words and language are important to us.

•  We watch B&W and subtitled movies.

•  We lived through Watergate and survived being disillusioned.

•  Virginity was not a rarity in our day.

•  Back in the day “unprotected sex’ meant a padded headboard.

•  Children having children was uncommon when we were in our youth and marriage was the obvious consequence.

•  We knew how to balance a checkbook, count change, and the importance of a savings account before we graduated high school.

•  Religion and Politics were sacred and private when we were growing up.

•  When we went to school we were taught script handwriting, arithmetic, current events and problem-solving. We were lucky and we didn’t even know it!

•   Putting in a full, hard day at work was the norm and we took pride in our work.

•  We were taught respect for our elders -(oh, no, that’s us!!!)

The Cons:

•  Our hair is either thinning or gray.

•  We now have two chins like it or not.

•  We have twenty or more pounds on than we ever had and no matter what we do, unlike our youth when we just had to think about losing them, they now refuse to leave us.

•  If you’re over forty chances are you’re wearing glasses and if you’re not you’re holding the newspaper at arms length and misreading street signs.

•  We pee when we sneeze.

•  We pee when we laugh.

•  We’re grandparents.

•  We walk into another room to get something, but once we get there we can’t remember what it was we wanted.

•  We forget what we’re saying mid-sentence.

•  We need eight hours of sleep no matter what.

•  We have way too much stuff.

•  Our aches are chronic.

•  Arthritis, colonoscopies, prescription drugs and doctor appointments are commonplace and part of our vernacular.

•  It's a choice between sex and a night out.

•  Beer bellies.

•  Instead of sport stats we’re complaining about our newest pains.

•  Herbal remedies, homeopathic and natural cures have become the topics of conversation along with Viagra,erectile dysfunction, and menopause.

•  We have to reconsider our wardrobe for “Age appropriateness”.

•  Sagging everything.

•  We used to flaunt our voluptuous decollate, now, more likely it’s just a roadmap to our youth.

•  Men used to be able to tell their barber: “a little off the top”. Now, come to think of it, there are no more barbers or barber shops for that matter. They've been replaced by "stylists" and "hair salons".

• Scarves used to be a decorative compliment to an outfit, now they cover the ravages of time.

•  We used to tie a string around our finger to remember something, now we question who put the string on our finger and why is it there.

•  When did the “Early Bird Special” become part of our vernacular? Even worse, when did we think the food is actually good?

•  Your significant other knows how your stories end better than you do.

•  You buy sympathy cards every time you walk into Hallmark - just in case .

•  Drinking caffeinated coffee after two will guarantee a sleepless night.

•  There was a time when SUV’s, STD’s, AIDS, CD’s and such were just letters of the alphabet.

Who Knew God Was Such a Jokester

I’m convinced that God in His or Her wisdom diminished our eyesight just in time for us not to see the changes years would put upon us. Why else would our mane thin while we suddenly grow dark, thick and unruly hairs on our chins or our upper lips? Guys, you haven’t faired much better. God certainly has a sense of humor: hair in your ears, bald domes and beer bellies (well, thankfully, not all of you)!

Speaking of eyesight, do you know anyone over forty who doesn’t carry around a pocket pair of magnifying eyeglasses? Hair or the lack of it is not the only matter of humor here. Nay, there’s enough hilarity to go around and around and around that widening girth of ours.

I remember being svelte and demure. Back then I never doubted I always would be, but once again there were other plans for me… Okay, so our hair is thinning and growing in places we would never choose to have hair, our eyesight is blurring and our waistline is hardly a “line”. What else could He or She throw at us?

Well, there’s a hint towards the sagging of nearly every thing, which promises only to get worse; there’s bunions on our corns and ankles have given way to canckles; and for some of us there’s Fixadent and Polident and teeth in a jar in our future. Let’s face it, that heavenly God of ours has a raw sense of humor...or is it just that we were created in His image? OMG, what a vision does that conjure?

We Baby Boomers are not going to take this quietly. We’re going to make plastic surgeons very wealthy individuals. There’s a growing industry devised to assure our “forever youth”. You have but to turn on the television set or watch the plethora of commercials pandering to our self-image.

There’s whitening for our yellowing teeth, liposuction for our abuses at the dinner table, Botox to abracadabra those laugh lines and smile lines away; silicone and saline for breasts gone south or north or east or west; there’s penile implants and drugs that sustain or enlarge.
There’s potions to rub upon our balding heads, miracle creams to smear across those widening pores, and elixirs to swallow that promise everything from recovery from pain to everlasting energy and no doubt soon to promise nirvana.

We certainly live in amazing times. But as we age ever so gracefully, and surely better than our parents did, all around us are reminders that our world is changing and not in a way any of us would have chosen. Some might argue that aging is a wondrous thing - and true enough, just the accomplishment is worthy of note, but I doubt if it were feasible that any one of us could halt this process that we wouldn’t.